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Anyone can become enraged once in a while. But if you feel rage boiling within almost constantly, or rage erupts from you frequently, you may have an organic illness.
On the other hand, you might have suffered some terrible injustice as a child.
One major, but largely ignored, category of such abuse is that of boys emotionally, physically, or sexually damaged by women.
This abuse is not only widespread but may be at the root of much subsequent abuse of women by men.
A little boy abused by a woman suffers in similar ways to a little girl abused by a man.
In recent times it has become acceptable for women to speak out about the abuse they suffered as children; most men feel no such permission is given to them about the abuse they suffered as little boys at the hands of women. These men are ashamed, and enraged.
They are enraged because society accepts that men can be angry but there is less acceptance for the male victims' feelings of hurt, fear, inadequacy, guilt, embarrassment, and especially weakness and vulnerability.
A male victim smothers these emotions with anger. In this way, he preserves his masculine image. But the cost is enormous.
A man unaware of the deep sources of his anger will, at the least, have troubled relationships with women; at the worst, he may rape and mutilate.
A male victim of childhood sexual abuse by women displays the following behavior as an adult:
>> Distrust of women.
>> Fear of intimacy.
>> No separate identity.
>> Readily feels guilt.
>> Hard time to accept compliments.
>> Holds back emotions.
>> Protects abuser(s).
>> Sexual difficulties.
>> Seeks abuser's approval.
>> Constantly apologises.
>> Fearful.
>> Eager to care for others.
>> Joyless. (Adapted from Blanchard, 1987*)
The lousy feelings often erupt as rage. Ronald sought professional help to change his vicious behavior toward his wife, Helen.
Ronald would arrive home disgruntled after a disappointing day (every day was disappointing) in the architectural office where he worked, and an hour's drive to the suburb.
Before long, he would be kicking Helen. There was always some pretext for the kicks. (Helen did not have supper ready, or she was on the phone, or she wore a dress he hated...). Ronald never used his fists. Always his legs. He despaired of his uncontrollable rage because he believed that “Helen was the best thing that had ever happened to me.”
As Ronald talked more about his life, his hostility to almost everyone became evident. He was jealous of his brothers, sneered at their choices of wives, hated his job where he felt put upon, especially by female colleagues.
When Ronald spoke about his mother, he whined. Long stories of how she favored one or other of his brothers, how he cringed in her presence, how he avoided visits to her house yet was jealous of her contacts with his siblings. Ronald was convinced his mother preferred one of his nephews, adding bitterly, “Though my son was the first grandchild.”
Hypnotherapy Heals the Hurt and the Rage
Within the comfort of hypnosis Ronald was able to connect his present-day woes with unpleasant incidents in his childhood.
This was accomplished with what hypnotherapists call an “affect link.” You allow yourself to feel a particular emotion, such as grief. As you continue to experience the feeling, the hypnotherapist asks you to recall an earlier time when you felt the same way. Ronald's confused mix of bitterness, rage and sense of abandonment, swiftly drew up a memory of his mother:
“I'm six years old. Mummy keeps telling me I'm her favorite. She tells me to come into her bed. It's warm there. I fall asleep, snuggled beside her. I wake up. She's moving my leg up and down over this hairy place between her legs. She's breathing funny. I'm scared. [Sobs]. She opens her eyes a little and tells me it's okay. My knee is wet. I try to pull away but she holds onto me, tells me to be a good boy, do this for Mummy. She seems out of breath. I'm scared. Then she shakes and cries out. I'm even more scared and I feel bad, like something's really wrong. I ask Mummy if she's all right. She turns to me with a big smile, hugs me and says I'm her little man and everything is fine. [More sobs, reddening of face].
“But everything is not fine. I don't understand. Mummy tells me this will be our special secret. She seems happy. And she likes me best. So I keep quiet. And whenever she asks me I let her use my leg to rub her where she wants. [Later Ronald described other sexual activity his mother initiated]. I begin to like it, too. When I get old enough to have an erection, Mummy plays with my penis. I really like that. But at the same time it feels kind of weird. This stuff went on till I was eleven. I found out at school what sex was supposed to be, and how bad it was what Mummy and me had been doing. I felt sick.”
With psychotherapy while he relaxed in hypnosis, Ronald made some progress toward a healthier life, and control of his rage.
Unfortunately, his wife sabotaged the treatment. Ronald, like many sexually abused victims, had (unconsciously) sought out a woman who would continue the abuse he had suffered as a child.
Helen had made no secret of her broad sexual experience prior to meeting Ronald; indeed, she was proud of it. But her knowledge of the carnal world and his relative innocence (sex with only one woman: his mother) repeated the power pattern Ronald had suffered as a boy.
When Helen saw that Ronald was learning to control his rage, to lessen his hostile attitude and to relax, she counterattacked. Helen had married Ronald because (unconsciously) she wanted a man she could dominate and despise. His therapy threatened to upset the delicate dance of danger they had created.
Ronald was swiftly reduced to a sniveling, angry puppet when Helen sneered at his progress and repeatedly reminded him of what a Mummy's boy he had been.
A final blow bounced Ronald out of therapy: Helen telephoned the therapist, discussed Ronald's history, and insisted the therapist not mention her call to Ronald. The following week Helen casually mentioned to Ronald something the therapist had said to her. Ronald felt betrayed [he was] and never returned to therapy.
You may be doing very well with hypnotherapy when a friend or relative sabotages your progress. This is not usually as dramatic or underhanded as Helen's behavior. The disruption comes in the form of doubt. Your friend may question the effectiveness of hypnosis, and cite the many hypnosis myths that still pollute our minds.
Once doubt is planted, hypnosis ends. Doubt and fear keep us from relaxation. And relaxation is the route into hypnotherapy.
Dennis, like Ronald, suffered fits of rage. Unlike Ronald, Dennis took these fits out on himself. He would tremble, and shake, and sweat and fear he was about to pass out. Dennis knew his ambition to become a police officer would never be realized unless he got over these fits. Like Ronald, he had troubled relationships with women.
Unlike Ronald, Dennis had slept with dozens of women. All his longer-term relationships collapsed over an aspect of jealousy, his or hers. Didn't matter. Dennis could not trust a woman.
Dennis deliberately sought out a male psychotherapist who sometimes used hypnosis. But so scared was Dennis of going into hypnosis, that he spent several sessions in traditional psychotherapy before he had plucked up enough courage to try hypnosis.
Mothers Are Not The Only Women Who Abuse Little Boys
As far as Dennis knew, he had not been molested by his mother. Actually, he was not even sure who his biological mother was. He had been born into a large, extended criminal family. He had lived in seven different homes by the time he was five. All but one were homes of his aunts, cousins or siblings. He got used to calling each aunt in turn “mother.” The woman listed on his birth certificate showed no more, and no less, maternal interest in Dennis than did any of her sisters who raised him.
From as far back as he could remember, Dennis had been abused: abandoned, ignored, ill-fed, beaten, locked in a closet.
The therapist helped Dennis sort out the multitude of feelings that swirled within him.
Finally, Dennis said he was ready to try hypnosis. He was still frightened, despite the therapist's explanations about the safety of the process. But it was not hypnosis itself that Dennis feared; it was what might be uncovered.
In one way, he was right to be wary. But what was uncovered, awful as it was, freed Dennis from the last symbolic chains that linked him to his abusive family and their criminal ways.
In hypnosis, Dennis traced his attacks of trembling to some disgusting sexual behavior of one of his aunts when he was about four. What she had done to him and with him amounted to torture. It had been so horrible he had repressed the details for years, though “I knew something had happened; I just didn't know what.”
Now that he knew what lay at the root of his rage and his attacks, Dennis was able to let go of them. He felt forgiveness for his aunt because he knew of her own dreadful background. It was as if to know what she had done liberated Dennis from any lingering loyalty to his criminal relatives (all of whom were involved in drug deals, prostitution, extortion, etc.).
Now Dennis felt fully comfortable with his decision to apply to the local police training college.
*Blanchard, Geral. (1987). Male Victims of Child Sexual Abuse: A Portent of Things to Come, Journal of Independent Social Work, 1-1, 19-27.
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Too many women are inclined to forget that they have feet until something happens to call their attention to them. A beautifully formed foot is as charming to the eye as a beautifully shaped hand. Every woman should have a knowledge of the practical facts which make for her physical beauty.
Shoes have much to do with preserving or distorting the natural foot outline, and in this connection several practical facts should be remembered. First, that every woman's shoe should be broad enough to let her toes rest flatly and naturally on the sole. Second, that a low heel throws the weight of the body on the instep. If you feel that broken arches are a slight penalty to pay for tottering about with the silly helplessness of a footbound Chinese woman of the old type, by all means wear highheeled shoes.
If you will have "French" heels — and to the average man a woman looks ridiculous in them, though politeness bid him disguise his feelings — there is nothing more to be said. Do not wear old shoes about the house. They will make your feet shapeless. The dyes in cheap stockings often run. If you have a slight skin abrasion or a cut, you may get blood poisoning. Hence pay more for your stockings (silk, lisle or silk and wool) rather than risk infection.
FOOT MANICURING
Always cut your toenails straight across, using a nail clip, or nail scissors. Ingrown nails always result from cutting away the corners of the nail which support its forward part. If you smooth the nail edges with emery, a good deal of darning will be saved.
FOOT AILMENTS
Calluses.—Calluses very often develop on the sole of the foot. They also form on the toes, where they turn into hard corns, or between the toes, where they become soft ones, and are capable of causing severe pain. Like bunions, flat feet and fallen arches, calluses and corns are a logical result of the wearing of tight or ill fitting shoes.
Good corn plasters give relief. There are also good acid solutions for corns, but they must be applied to the hard skin of the corn only. It is best, however, to have a good chiropodist remove corns, since he is able to take out their core. The "vascular" corn (made up of small blood vessels), which is less common, should always be taken out by a chiropodist.
Bunions.—Bunions are beyond proper home treatment. They are produced by pressure on the big toe, causing inflammation of the second toe joint. A preliminary callus turns into enlargement of the joint, and, in many cases, motives much suffering, and inability to wear a shoe. If the shoe pressure which causes the bunion be removed, the callus will disappear, but not necessarily the bunion. When bunions are long standing it is not always possible to cure them permanently. A bunion should at once be referred to a chiropodist.
Ingrowing Nails.—Their origin has already been mentioned. Treatment should consist in bathing in hot water, then raising the injured portion of the nail, and inserting pieces of lint or absorbent cotton as an artificial support. Then scrape the nail longitudinally. The lint or cotton support must be renewed from time to time, until the nail has reverted to normal. If a proud flesh condition has developed it will be best to go at once to the chiropodist, instead of attempting a cure yourself.
Flat and Fallen Arches.—Both these foot troubles are beyond any home treatment. Fallen arches, once they have definitely dropped, cannot be completely cured. Both diseases, in most cases,result from improper footwear, high heels, and shoes wrongly balanced, and each and every case usually needs individual treatment.
Chilblains.—Chilblains, one of the most common of foot disorders, can usually be cured at home. It comes from cold or frost, and does not start in feet which have a good blood circulation. Soaking the feet in hot water, rubbing and massaging with warm spirits of rosemary and turpentine, and exercise are the remedies. Exercise, especially, restores the circulation, and alleviates the redness, the burning feeling and the intolerable itching which are the signs of the ailment.
FOOT PERSPIRATION AND PERSPIRATION IN GENERAL
Foot Perspiration.—Perspiration we associate more directly and more perceptibly with the feet than any other part of the body. There is a reason. There are more perspiration glands in the feet than anywhere else on the body, save in the palms of the hands. Daily bathing, night and morning, is the best preventive of excessive foot perspiration. It is well, when you are thus troubled, to add a little alum to the water (it should be warm), and after drying to powder the feet with boracic powder. Or, if you prefer, use a soothing lotion for "feet that are weary" and perspiring, made up of equal parts of alcohol and witch hazel. Hot water, however, is a sovereign specific for all sweaty feet.
Perspiration in General.—We are perspiring all the time. Our perspiration glands are constantly throwing off the waste matter of the body, and bathing serves the double purpose of keeping the pores open so that this matter may be discharged, and removing it in order that no disagreeable odors result from its presence. The soles of the feet, the armpits, at times the forehead, chest, and neck are perspiration centers.
Perspiration is usually not excessive when a woman is in good general health, or when it is not a result of violent exercise or unusual temperature conditions. But when it is habitual and unchecked it robs a young woman or girl of all that charm of daintiness and appeal which is her right and privilege. There is no odor more immediately and more resentfully noticed than that of dried perspiration. It clings not only to the body, but to the clothes. Perfumes and scented powders do not hide it, and it always awakens disgust.
Frequent bathing, frequent change of undergarments and stockings, and a free use of talcum powder or "odorono" are all indicated. Never imagine that the use of talcum instead of soap and water will do away with this unhappy scent. After washing, always and invariably after washing, is powder to be used. The poet has coined the phrase "honest sweat." But there is no such thing as "honest sweat" in feminine beauty's bright lexicon of charm. Perspiration, especially at evening affairs, dances, etc., steals away that natural freshness and fragrance of aura which should surround woman.
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Erectile Dysfunction is when a man cannot get an erection or cannot keep the erection long enough to finish having sex. You will also this condition referred to as impotency and it can happen anytime during a man’s life however it is more often seen in men over the age of 65.
Many men believe that erectile dysfunction is just a part of growing older, but this is not necessary true. Yes, you may need a bit more stimulation in the way of stroking and touching, just a bit more foreplay than when you were younger. Age should not affect your ability to get an erection and enjoy sex. You may not be able to every day as you did with the mere thought of having sex, but sex should be an enjoyable part of your life no matter what your age.
There are a few physical reasons that can cause erectile dysfunction which include fatigue, alcohol use, tobacco use, brain injuries, spinal cord injuries, hypogonadism, liver failure, kidney failure, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, radiation therapy to the testicles, prostate surgery, bladder surgery, and stroke.
There are also a few medical problems associated with erectile dysfunction, which include diabetes, hypertension, and atherosclerosis.
If you experience erectile dysfunction, you can talk with your doctor to ensure that none of the above problems are occurring which could be at the root of your problem.
Erectile dysfunction can be as much an emotional or relationship problem as it is a physical problem. If you are nervous about having sex, feel stressed, worried about anything, depressed, self-conscious, and even if you feel that your partner is not acting positively toward you it is possible for you not to be able to get an erection.
Just because you have been unable to get a hard-on does not mean that you will not get it up later. You may just need to relax, switch your mind to something else, receive more stimulation and try again.
Treatment for erectile dysfunction can be as simple as performing regular penis exercises that you can find with penis enlargement program. Your doctor can also prescribe medication and if necessary recommend surgery.
For the penis to perform properly it needs blood flow. Exercising your penis can aid in rock hard erections and the more you exercise the better your erections will become. If the erectile dysfunction is not caused from any medial or physical condition, then you should begin exercising and using your penis for sex more often. The old saying, use it or lose it, can also be one reason that your penis is not cooperating. Just use your common sense, if you use to be able to run a mile and now find that you can barely run a block without being worn out. Then think about your penis. At one time, your penis would have more than one erection per day and now you are telling him to wait and only allowing him to get hard once per month. Practice does make perfect. Get that penis back on track with exercise and sexual activity.
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A lot of claims of cancer cure secrets put patients and carers into a lot of confusion. The danger signals of cancer are:
Tumor or Swelling. This is always a danger sign. Any swelling of the tissues anywhere in the body should always be looked on with suspicion. Even a goiter, which is an enlargement of the thyroid gland in the front of the neck, may become malignant at some time or other. If there is any doubt, one should see a good surgeon.
Loss of Weight. Any loss of weight can be serious. This should always be thoroughly investigated, particularly in older people. Sometimes the loss of weight occurs so slowly that it is hardly noticed. There may be some good reasons for this. But whatever the cause, some record of a person’s weight should always be kept, preferably in your doctor’s office.
Difficult Swallowing. Most of us have no difficulty in swallowing. In fact, we might be much better off if we had less capacity. But when a person suddenly experiences difficulty in swallowing, it is time to something about the condition. The trouble may not be due to cancer. But what ever the cause, it should be corrected.
Warts and Moles. Moles and blemishes are exceedingly common. Many people also have warts. These are hard, dry growths in the skin. They come and go without any obvious cause. Usually they are perfectly harmless. But any sudden change in the appearance of a wart or mole should be reported to your doctor at one.
Change of Color. This is another cause for concern. It could be due to slowly developing anemia, arising from something depressing the normal functions of the bone marrow. Cancel will sometimes produce these changes. So will other serious types of illness. Once should have a complete examination, as well as a blood count, urinalysis, and whatever X-rays may be indicated.
Unusual Bleeding or Discharge. Certain discharges are perfectly normal within the body. They are necessary for the health of the whole system. But any unusual discharge or bleeding should be looked upon with strong suspicion. This could arise from cancer. Such conditions should be given a most thorough investigation.
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Today, there are many different methods out there for penis enlargement, but how do you know which ones truly work and if they work which ones are best? Well, the truth is, you must do a bit of research to learn what is available and how they work before you can really make an educated decision.
One of the most popular penis enlargement methods is the SizeGenetics system. However, if you do not spend hours and hours alone then you may not wish to try this method. This method uses a penis device that can be hidden by wearing clothing. This device exerts constant traction on your penis during each session so you must be able to allow your penis to be pretty much out in the open. However, the SizeGenetics system is the most popular method because it is one of the fastest penis enlargements on the market today.
Penis enlargement pumps are another option. Just because you saw one of these on Austin Powers does not mean that they are doctor approved, a matter of fact they are not recommended at all except for men suffering from a heart condition or diabetes to achieve erections.
The PenisHealth system is a series of penis enlargement exercise that has proven success. These penis exercises work in the same way as the SizeGenetics. This is considered one of the most popular all natural ways to increase the size of the penis.
When using the PenisHealth system the cells of penis tissue expand and multiply which will increase the not only the length of the penis but the girth as well. The exercises should be done at least once per day either in the morning when first waking up or in the evening before retiring. One reason this method is more popular over other penis enlargement methods is that the male has complete control of the enlargement process and the risk of something going wrong or of an accident is pretty much non-existent as long as the exercises are performed properly.
If neither one of the above methods, sound very appealing you will be glad to know that today there is another method that might be perfect for you; The ProSolution Pills. These pills are created from all natural herbs and have been proven to increase the size of the penis in a completely all-natural way without all the hassles and sometimes embarrassments.
The ingredients in the ProSolution Pills aid in boosting the flow of blood to the penis, which increase the production of testosterone and raise energy levels. This helps get your reproduction system on the go.
There are other penis enlargement methods such as surgery. However, why take chances with surgery when there are more natural ways to increase the size of your penis. With surgery you have the risk of impotence, you will have scars, and there is always the chance of complications.
